With the advent of email, instant messaging, cell phones, blackberries and the like, we’ve become so very accustomed to being available to anyone and everyone at all times. This can be a wonderful thing in so many ways, however when it’s time for you to spend quality time with your children and family, or time for you to relax by yourself, then being hooked up and electronically plugged in may become a hindrance to other aspirations you may hold.
Be sure to take the time to unwind with the kids, and disconnect so that your children really do have your undivided attention. I have discovered that I feel so much better after even half an hour of focused playtime with my kids, than I do with one hour of semi-undivided playtime while I am also paying attention to a few emails.
If you are a mom that works outside of the home, you may feel obligated to be at the beck and call of the office. Try not to allow yourself to be at the mercy of your career at the expense of anything that you hold dear to your own heart. Be sure that you arrange times when you are completely free from having to answer emails, text messages and phone calls.
When you find that you do have some free time, try to plan to spend that with your kids. Whether it’s playing at the park, or baking cookies, or reading a book together. My children have shown me how much they appreciate every moment we can all get together, even if it’s simply for looking through a picture book.
If you are a stay at home mom, you still may have times when your cell phone rings and you are tempted to take time away from your child’s mommy and me time. Or, you might feel a need to check your email often – been there. Especially if you work in any way, shape or form online.
A possible solution might be to designate certain times in which you are available to chat with friends, or to plan the next PTO meeting with fellow members, and other times when you are not available. Each day, turn the cell phone off, or at least silence it, and walk away form the computer for a couple hours. Make this time a time for you and your little ones to talk, play, read, exercise, plant flowers or do anything else together.
Write out a schedule, if that helps. I have taken to purchasing a white board which I place on the fridge. Our day is written out, so that my children also know at what time we will be reading together, at what time we will be eating together, and when we will have group playtime together.
The whole idea is togetherness without undue interruptions, and it has worked like a charm. Certainly, I am much more calm for it, and I am better able to tackle my work and projects once I come back to them.
Get Outside & Play!
It’s also important to disconnect for your own sake once in a while. As a busy woman, taking time for yourself is paramount- maybe even just for going for a morning walk or jog, or a quiet few minutes when the kids are napping. Turn of the phone’s ringer, and let the email sit.
Put your smartphone down and take some time for yourself, quietly and peacefully. You must have time to rejuvenate yourself, self-rejuvenation is very difficult to accomplish if you are constantly answering calls, emails and text messages. Surely, everyone and everything can be put on hold for a few minutes or an hour?
In this era of advanced technology, it is extremely easy to get caught up in the never-ending flow of virtual communication. To be connected in every way can be an advantage in some ways, but it can take a serious bite out of the time you need to spend concentrating solely on your children, or solely on yourself.
Make a conscious effort not to ‘cheat’ your family out of some significant quality time with you. The moments you allow yourself to have with your children now, especially while they are young, will always be remembered and appreciated.
The moments you take for yourself are no less valuable, giving you a chance to catch your breath before you return to the parenting and work tables – refreshed, revitalized, and ready to go!
This is so very true! I find that constantly being plugged into social media etc is mentally and physically draining. It’s so good to unplug!
I agree, Jennifer. There are days when I know I’ve been at the computer for so long, that I feel incredibly drained the next day.
Six months ago I was having such an issue ‘disconnecting’….I work full time, blog, and have to keep my family together, too. I noticed my son was starting to act out a little bit (he is only 3), and doing things that were clear that he was trying to get my attention. I decided that from the point I get home from work, to the point where I put my son done to bed, I wouldn’t take out my phone, computer, or turn the tv on…I would divide my attention to him and my husband completely. Within a few days I noticed his behavior improve and he was more cooperative.
Anyway, long story short, I think the message you are sending here is great. You have to really think about what you want and how to get there. Love it!
Thank you Allyson! My son gets the same way, so we have cut back on everything. We didn’t ever really use much tv or screen time, but now tv is only a ‘treat’ 😉 Since I really started getting into blogging, it was like a snowball, and I had to reign it all back in.
Oh! This is so true. I think sometimes we get so busy we forget the important things. Quality time with your family truly is the most important thing. More so than anything.
It’s easier said than done. When we go on vacations, I cut WAY back on the phone, but I don’t think I could cut it out completely.
When we go on vacation, my husband has a no-tech policy for most activities. That way we enjoy our time in a new place as a family even more.
Hi Pam 🙂 That’s a great policy to have while on vacation!
I’ve been procrastinating this for a while now I feel so guilty I have been trying to do just that spend at least a half hour playing barbies or watching my son play his video games or playing cards they ALL love playing with mommy is written all over their faces…. 🙂
I hear you! It makes a mama so happy to see their babies so happy 🙂
Very good advice! We get so caught up in being available all the time to all people..that we lose sight of us! People joke about me – saying heck don’t call Debbie she does not answer her phone.
It is hard to disconnect from all our devices, but it can be very liberating. I agree that we all need to do that more than we do.
Nice post. I try to get all my work before anyone is home from school so I’m not on the computer or checking my phone when I’m with my family. It’s so important.
Great ideas. I love unplugging now and then.
It sounds like a great idea and I’d love to actually DO this one time. It’s hard when our lives have become so revolved around social media and technology, but taking a break from it can be so rewarding.
I have worked far away from home, and now I work at home, and I have to say that neither is easy! I totally agree that no matter what you do, learning to set boundaries and limitations is so important for the health of your family relationships. It can really get overwhelming if you don’t (like, every day of my past year!)
As a full time nurse and the author of a young blog, my time is very limited. I have to make sure to give my teens the attention they need. Great reminder that we need to remember personal relationships are important.
I too need to unplug more.
It is important to take a step back from work from time to time. We work in order to live, and I don’t think we shoudl live in order to work.
This is when I’m grateful I didn’t know about blogging when my kids were still at home. I was ALL about the kids and we did so many fun things together and went fun places. Best years of my life!
Liz, I would consider that to be very lucky indeed! We are getting back to that 😉
I totally agree with the “Unplugging”. I can tell when I have been on too long by my families reaction. It is more important to appreciate those around you versus the computer in front of you.
Great post– I left me cell at work and it was actually a great opportunity for the hubby and i to talk more!
Haha! I hear that one, too… when my hubby needs to sit with the kids, and I return home, I always find him either on his tablet or phone. I have had fantasies of accidentally dropping the device(s) in the toilet! Just kidding. Mostly 😉
I completely agree with you! I don’t answer my phone from 7 – 9 PM because that’s when my hubby and I unwind and watch TV together and talk. I also don’t answer during dinner. I’ve long since turned off my email alert tone, because I was checking my phone every five minutes!
I totally agree, there are so many distractions. I look forward to uninterrupted family time!
This is really a great article. I do agree we do need to unplug every once in a while. It can be tough but we do need to take that time to do it, even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
i physically SHUT my laptop when i have kid and mommy time .i try really hard to do my work when they aren’t here or if they are doing a tv show (and i work where they are watching)
it took me a while to get here but you are right and it is important
Great post! I keep telling myself to unplug – but it’s so hard when there’s so much to do. It is good for the mind and good to get more quality time in with the kiddos!