6 Ways to Explore Emotions with Your Child

Do you remember what it was like to have big feelings when you were child? Unless our parents were incredibly skilled with emotional literacy, most of us could find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and anxious with having very little control. As children grow and gain more control over certain aspects of their lives, the emotions are applied to different circumstances but are no less intense.

The beauty of being human is that we have reactions to our feelings. Children have natural responses to events which over time helps them to learn to manage their emotions. We, as the adults in their lives, can help our children navigate their feelings.

Emotions are such an important an integral part of all of our lives.  They are an inevitable part of the human experience.  In my work as a movement therapist, emotions are the very first things we dive into.  “E-motion” … energy in motion.  As adults, many of us have stuffed away the big emotions over the course of many years.

Many of us have not encountered, explored, or allowed ourselves to truly uncover and feel what lies beneath the surface.  I will even go so far as to say that there is a systemic fear of truly feeling the deeper emotions – I have heard people express a fear of “not coming back”, should they allow themselves to “go there”.

Especially at this time, with where the world is situated on a pivotal turning point, we need to go there.  Stuffing emotion will do nothing but give way to dis-ease and anxiety.  And when we really dive in and explore the deepest recesses of our emotions and psyches, we give permission to our creative sparks to come to life and make things really, really happen.

Younger children may not yet have the coping skills or life experience to draw upon in order to put things into perspective.  The caretakers in children’s lives have a responsibility to explore children’s feelings and teach them how to embrace them. Please see my post on how to create simplicity and a nurturing home environment.

It’s important for your children to see you as a healthy, active adult who appropriately expresses their feelings. How you manage your own feelings provides your children with strong lessons and guidelines in how to express their own feelings. Modeling is one of the most potent ways of teaching behaviors to children.

Being able to deal appropriately with one’s emotions is key to success in school, relationships, and ultimately, life in general.  Here are some ideas on how to explore the world of feelings with your children.

Explore Emotions By Exploring Music Together

Music is an emotional experience, whether playing or listening.  Try playing different CDs and ask your children what kind of emotion the music seems to be expressing.  Using whatever instrument is available – piano, recorder, drums, harmonica, etc. – ask your child to play a song that represents a certain emotion.

Turn it into a game – write down different emotions on slips of paper and let your child draw one at a time out of a hat.

Also, pay attention to songs that evoke an emotional reaction from your children.  If they are really enjoying a particular song – asking you to turn it up or play it again, take note of this.  Explore this song and have them dance it out, act it out, play it out, or talk it out. I took this drumming course with Christine Stevens, and my kids joined in. They loved it!

Encourage the Exploration of Art

Putting your feelings onto paper or into clay can be very therapeutic.  Encourage your child to tell you about his or her artwork – why pointed shapes?  Why red or why green?  You can ask your child to express a certain feeling with paints or crayons, or ask him or her to choose a feeling and illustrate it.  Another artistic exercise is to have your children draw different facial expressions.

My oldest daughter loves to draw animals, and have her animal drawings express emotion in their faces.  This really helps her to express when she is very tired, or has had an extra ‘long day’ at school.

Art seems to work very well as a tool for helping highly sensitive children express themselves.  Getting their hands dirty by finger painting or charcoal smudging adds that extra element of fun to their expression.

Explore Emotions with the Fine Art of Role Playing

Sometimes it’s easier to express yourself through another character – it feels safer.  Putting on a play can be great fun – it won’t feel like emotional education!  As you discuss the role, you can discuss the feelings the character is meant to portray and how they can do that.

How about even trying a puppet show? Stuffed animals, puppets, and even toy cars can be perfect tools to use for role playing and more open communication.

Work on Building Emotional Vocabulary

Give your child the words to describe what he or she is feeling. If your child hears you openly discussing your feelings, this will help build his or her emotional vocabulary. Very young children will need help in naming their feelings – it can actually help calm a child down when his or her feelings are explained.

Feelings are much more manageable when they have names.  I try to ask my children each day how their day has been and how they are feeling.  If I sense that a particular event has left them anxious, I try to get them chatting (or simply movement or snuggles!) by prompting them with word suggestions.

“How did you feel about that?”, “Were you angry when that happened?”, “Did you feel like you needed to cry?”, “Do you want to talk about it more later?” These are all questions and examples of questions that I have found myself using.

Get a Conversation Going Around Mood Rings

These pretty pieces of jewelry have been around since the 1970’s and maybe before.  As the different mood colors come up on the ring, talk about them.  You don’t need to be serious or heavy-handed; just casually talk about things like why the mood ring has a particular color for a particular feeling (“Does black seem like an angry color to you?”).

You could discuss a time when your child felt a certain way,  and how it was handled.

Teaching children at a young age to relate emotions to colors is very effective. It also shows them that their feelings have energy and can directly impact the outcome of things.

Read Books (Or Listen to Audio) Together 

Most children’s books involve some kind of emotional experience among and within the characters.  As you read books together, talk about how the characters feel, why, and how the illustrator portrayed those emotions in the illustrations.

Your child will then be able to relate to the character when emotional situations come up.  Your child can write his or her own stories, too. If your child is having trouble falling asleep at night, you may wish to try some audio. We really love a bedtime story called “Joy Jumping” and Angels, Fairies and Wizards: A Magical Healing for Children. You can listen to a free audio sample of Joy Jumping here.

One of the most important lessons you’ll ever teach your children is how to identify and appropriately express their feelings. Our children are our best teachers.  As you become more open to discussing emotions, your children will end up pointing out some ways you’ve handled their emotional moments that did not help. Listen to your kids and you can all have fun working toward handling big feelings effectively!