No matter what activities we embark upon on our journey, or what choices we make, we all want to do our very best to meet our goals and reach our success milestones. Because we try so hard to hit the mark each time, our self-esteem can really take a hit when we encounter disappointments in these attempts to reach our goals.
In this post, I’d like to take a look at some of those times you felt you missed the mark (or simply wished you had obtained different results). It goes without saying that if you spend too much time chastising and getting down on yourself, you are risk of missing other opportunities that make their way to you and offer you a chance to succeed. One thing to do in circumstances such as these, is to be as aware of them as possible and meet them where you are.
Rise up to the challenge despite the negative stories you may be telling yourself. And though it is important to reach for the stars, you must also be prepared to be comfortable with your potential ‘next level’ of success.
Here, I have compiled a list of strategies and ideas to help you learn to accept your present work and future success levels:
Do Your Best to Know Yourself – Inside and Out
When you know what’s important to you, you can better make the connection between how badly you want something and how hard you’re willing to work in order to achieve it. Do you have a clear and solid understanding of that which drives and motivates you? Get out your journal and a pen and start writing down your motivations.
Recall Scenarios Where You Achieved Your Desired Success
Think back to a past project or assignment, perhaps even a teacher or co-worker, that gave you positive feedback. Take notes to go back in time and jog your memory. The more you can give energy to those moments, allows you to breathe life into those times that you know you had success. In this, it becomes like muscle memory – you can reach out and repeat the process and formula because you’ve ‘been there’ before. That certainty and inner knowing is worth its weight in gold.
Be Honest With Yourself and Recognize Your Limits
Naturally, we all have innate talents and abilities, just as we have things that we simply don’t have natural capacity for. As an example, perhaps creative writing has never come easily to you. If this is the case, then it would make sense to reach the understanding that a project requiring creative writing would take extra work and focus for you. This self-knowledge will ultimately help you to understand how best to plan your project and what the time frame might be up to completion.
Obtain Any New and Necessary Training – Hold a Beginners’ Mind
Is there a certain talent or skill that continues to elude you? Is it important to you to do better? If so, then it is certainly in your best interest to plan a way to learn more about this particular skill. Learn to let go of self-limiting thoughts. When you study or complete training, you’re increasing your chances of achieving success.
Remember – There Are Always More Opportunities
Naturally, you will encounter moments that you wish you could have done better. Remember – you have done well before and you will do well again. Go back through the recent events and do your best to learn from them. Are you able to pinpoint why this recent event was not a success for you? Is it possible – if you are completely honest with yourself – that you could have taken the time to put in more effort? Or perhaps this activity is not exactly one of your strengths? Use the information you uncover in your research and self-study for future reference.
Ensure You Are Striving for Success Because it is What YOU Want
Once you make a true connection with the feeling that you want to succeed, you will naturally begin to try harder. Not to mention that once it’s all said and done, you will find you have greater confidence and acceptance of your personal successes. When you look back and see that you gave it all you could, you will be at peace with your results.
Do Your Best to Fill Your Time With the Things You Are Most Passionate About
Are you using your time wisely, and filling it with projects and activities that are gratifying because you love them most? How you see yourself ties in directly with your self-esteem, and this is one of the greatest factors that will ever conduct the moments in your life’s journey. This is how the way that we see ourselves is ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most of us can relate to this example – we feel undeserving of something, and therefore rarely ever succeed in getting it. Because our view of it is inherently negative, rather than embracing it we are more likely to repel it.
It is not a stretch then, to understand that we may find ourselves continually in unsatisfying or unhealthy relationships. Nervousness, anxiety and a prevalent sense of our own perceived flaws are all feelings that a low self-esteem can bring. Drumming and dancing have also been my go to when I need to lift my spirits. I took this drumming course with Christine Stevens, and felt amazing.
Bottom line, do your best to invigorate your self-esteem so you have a good shot at achieving the successes you would like to enjoy. Dig in, brainstorm, soul search and write it all down! In what ways can you boost your self-esteem and start living the life you truly want to live?
Strategies to Boost Your Self-Esteem
Do Your Very Best to Become Aware of Negative Beliefs You Hold – And Let Them Go
All of those negative beliefs you’re holding on to that tell you you’re not good enough … release them!
- Journal the things that you can do well and give examples of things that you have succeeded at. Although it may take some time to truly feel the distinction, know that journaling these points will help you challenge the assumptions that your negative beliefs are born from.
As time goes on, you may notice that you’re feeling more confident and that your self-esteem is gently being invigorated.
Do Your Best to Stop Putting Others Ahead of Yourself (To the Detriment of Your Own Well-Being)
Please don’t see this as being selfish. Our society – sadly – tends to place a lot of emphasis on putting others before oneself. What I’m talking about here, is not putting your own needs aside to make others happy before you allow yourself the chance to meet your own needs.
- Self-Reflection Question: Why should everyone else be happy while you are feeling unfulfilled? As they saying goes, be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a desire to please others. This is in fact a very natural thing, but if it’s at the expense of your own happiness it could be a recipe for dismay and resentment in the long run.
- Do your best to create your own joy as well as pleasing others. Your inner joy will exude from you and extend to those around you.
Strengthen Your Friend Circle With Those Who Are Supportive of You
Do the people you surround yourself with lift you up emotionally and support you and your endeavors? Do they support and celebrate your successes? Be honest with yourself, and take note as to whether or not your friends and family are there to help pick you back up when you fall.
- Take care not to sell yourself short. Your time is precious, and your heart deserves the very best of care. It is never worth it to waste time with people that make you feel bad about yourself and your choices. Your tribe is out there, and these are the people who want to support you and rejuvenate you.
Finding true friends can be difficult, and is a journey in its own right. It takes time. Remember what you deserve love and appreciation. Seek out and spend time with those that see your inner light and help it to shine, as you would do for them.
Take the time to uncover your passions, and then put your whole heart and soul into them. Learn to listen to your inner wisdom and allow it to guide you. Motivate yourself to succeed – whatever succeeding means to you – by engaging with projects, people, and activities that have elements you love.
As you become more and more comfortable with your successes (and the steps you take to get to them), you find more and more joy and appreciation. This is also due to the rising optimism you will encounter from within yourself. This, in turn, will inspire you to meet even more of your goals. And as you uncover more and more of your passions for life, you will grow to love your successes too – just as they are.
Trisha says
This post reminded me how I need to better recognize my limits. I also need to spend more time doing what I love!
Maurene C. says
Great advice, made me think as well of how I should set up myself for the goals I want.
Kathleen Bunn says
I really need to get better at this. I have a hard time being happy with what I accomplish.
Liz Mays says
I alternate from being hard on myself to being too easy. I need to find the balance!
Rebekah Hale says
Funny – my husband and I were talking about this last night. I gauge my achievements by the feedback I receive from the people I’m directly working for – whether it’s the family, work relationships, or just doing something nice for someone. That’s why if my husband compliments me on my work, while I love it, I don’t see that as a success.
Amanda Love says
Finding that balance can be so tricky at times. I find myself judging myself too harshly at times and I do need to stop doing that.